Help With Low Self Esteem. Five Steps To Release You From The Shackles

You might need help with low self esteem, especially if it's stopping you doing what you want in life.

Having a healthy self esteem is paramount if you want to take control of where you want to go.

People needing help with low self esteem tend to look around themselves and think everybody else is doing great.

They think everybody else has happy and perfect relationships, that they have wonderful and fulfilling careers, find it easy to make new friends and of course, have the perfect body.

The thing is though, this couldn't be further from the truth.

Everybody has worries and feelings of self doubt at times. Everybody has gaps in their lives where they know to themselves where they fall short.

That's not the main issue, however what is more important is what is actually causing you to feel this way?

Reasons To Need Help With Low Self Esteem

1 - A general heightened sensitivity to the world around - this leads to a perception of inferiority and insecurity which is self defeating: "Why am I not like him or her?" or, "why can't I do that as well as him or her?" etc. etc.

2 - Shyness is another cause - people who are more shy by nature will tend to suffer more negative thoughts about self than others.

3 - Upbringing plays a vital role - often a dominant parent (or parents) who criticises their children to a greater degree will cause the offspring to build up increased detrimental feelings of self.

Couple this with belittlement and you have a doubly whammy, say, if you were publicly ridiculed for things you said and did by the ones supposed to be looking out for you.

Favouritism can play a part too.

4 - Bullying - both at school or in the workplace can leave the victim with an acutely negative sense of self.

5 - Major life events could be an explanation - it could be the loss of a job, divorce or a breakdown of a long term relationship; death of a loved one or perhaps more extreme, an accident where some kind of disfigurement or disability is the result.

6 - It could be just the small things in life, when I say "small" here I mean that they may seem minor to the general population, but they feel far from inconsequential to the inflicted!

Things like a perception of feeling ugly, inferior or out of place in comparison to your peers.

The amount of times I've met people, both male and female and once I've got to know them a little better, find out they are very self conscious about how they look, even though to the outside world they look perfectly fine.

Help With Low Self Esteem - Go Beyond The Boundaries

What's important is that you feel this way. It could be that you may not know why you feel this way at all, you've just "always been like this".

So, what can you do? The magical thing about having low self esteem is that it is entirely curable, it's not something you need to go to your doctor about or take pills for.

It takes you to think better about yourself.

The most important issue here is that a little self action is required.

You might not consider becoming a web entrepreneur for example if you feel you need help with low self esteem.

It might hold you back and make you think, "oh, I could never do something like that!".

You'd be wrong though. We are all capable of stepping outside of our self imposed boundaries.

Smile and the World Smiles with You

1 - Smile more.

Smiling is infectious, it also has a roundabout effect as when we smile we feel happier - so just sit quietly and smile to yourself.

Life isn't that bad is it? You're a wonderful human being so just acknowledge it for once.

I bet you look the better for it too, more confident and positive. Instead of looking like that shrinking violet who feels nervous all the time.

2 - Do something (or more of something) that you enjoy and that challenges you.

Something that makes you feel alive and engaged.

Think of your hobbies perhaps, could you do something more there?

I'm actually doing one of my 'hobbies' right now. It's probably become more of an obsession actually! But that's fine, it keeps me out of mischief as they say…

About that particular hobby. I build websites - I enjoy it and I like to help others.

I know how it can feel to self loathe and belittle yourself in your mind, but I'm not going to dwell on that.

I know I'm not that bad and if I can offer others help with low self esteem then all the better.

3 - Spend more time with the ones you love.

Working all the hours of the day is not going to make you feel any better in the long term, in fact it'll burn you out and you'll just regret it one day.

What's actually more important?

Spend more time with your spouse, your girl or boyfriend. It could be more time with Mum and Dad, your grandparents or your close friends.

It doesn't matter who, just spend more time with anyone who makes you feel happy and special.

4 - Go out more and meet people.

Now, this one may make you feel uneasy, especially if you're not feeling too great about yourself and think you need help with low self esteem.

You might be thinking, "well, I'll just skip this one".

Well don't. Just do it! Any opportunity you get, next time you're offered to go to a party or whatever, be enthusiastic.

When you get there, don't be self conscious and stand in the corner, just smile, relax and be friendly.

Remember, nobody actually cares what you say. Do you know what people remember most about conversations at parties or other social occasions?

What they said themselves! Not what others said.

So, everybody you chat to will be feeling similar, thinking stuff like, "did I say the right thing?" or, "I sounded like an idiot just then".

5 - Do something once in a while that scares you or gets you out of your comfort zone.

I don't mean going out and doing something crazy and dangerous, I just mean think of something you fear or perhaps something that you quite fancy doing but have never had the guts to do.

I'll leave that one to you though, as it's personal to each one of us.

However, for inspiration, it could be things like speaking or dancing in public, doing a new sport, singing at karaoke, cooking a large meal for several guests, running a marathon for charity - anything really.

It will just be an activity that will make you feel you've achieved something, however small it may be.

I tell you, it will do wonders for you and help with low self esteem and it will be a step in the right direction.

I hope you found it helpful and for now, just smile.

Uncommon Knowledge's free self confidence course

This is an excellent course that offers 6 tutorials with practical exercises that you can do to help you raise your self esteem and stop letting life hold you back.

Their site is also packed with bucket loads of free advice and is well worth a look.